All Topics, Backpacking, Lessons, Living, Story, Travel

Before Croatia: Prologue

Before Croatia, there’s a prologue to how I landed in the Balkans, on an island, by myself, mystified by the Adriatic Sea! So, bear with me here as I go through the back story. I tell this part of the story for a couple reasons:

 

  1. To let you know that no matter what the situation, you can, absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt, do anything you want on your own.
  2. Regret no relationship– it teaches you many lessons and ultimately leads to exactly where you’re meant to be.
  3. That this story was one of the hardest things I ever had to do in my life, but, in the end, was the wisest. Sometimes, the best choice is the hardest choice.

 

The Fiance

Source: “DSC_0131 – Version 3” by Reeknees

Go back to 1997…. Ok, just kidding. I’ll spare you all that time, and tell you that my ex-fiance, we’ll call him Chase, and I knew each other since we were 5 years old. We started dating however when we were about 22 and were together for 2 years. So, you can see we’d known each other a LONGGGG time. And we had a great relationship. We hardly ever fought and understood each other. And we really loved each other. But, obviously, there were some problems.

 

  • I enjoyed fitness and working out; he could eat whatever he wanted and still had abs.
  • I liked long, deep conversations about life; he could sum up any situation in one sentence (def not much of a talker).
  • I had a burning lust for the world and traveling; he was totally happy and good if he never traveled.

 

Now, I’m not, at all, saying that my qualities are better and his are wrong- I’m just saying, we didn’t match. And actually, there were other things we didn’t match on (some things we did of course) but I’m just going to stick to the main ones here.

 

Realization

Source: “Breaking up is hard to do” by Bart Booms

During the summer of 2016, I had been planning and saving to travel around Eastern Europe in September. While I had mentioned it to Chase, he never seemed to really want to talk about it but I just assumed whatever, when it comes time, we’ll book the tickets and off we’ll go!

 

But the time did come.

And he did not want to go.

 

I asked him to sit down with me and book the tickets. He got a bit of an attitude. I asked, “Do you even want to go?” he responded, “Not really” and for some reason, it was in that moment, that I realized, “What am I doing here?”

He was the one who I planned to go with me, without him, there was no one else. One of my best friends was out of town during the time I wanted to go, plus she was already saving and planning for a trip to Thailand. My other best friend was moving to California and couldn’t afford it.

 

So, you can imagine my shock when I realized: I was on my own.

 

Now, I am NOT the type of girl to push and drag someone along with me- that sounded like a miserable trip to me! Plus, if you don’t wanna go, then don’t come. I was at a strange crossroads in my life, one that I didn’t exactly forsee coming as Chase and I were engaged. We saw each other as it. Husband and wife. Life partners. All that.

 

But I remember leaving, sitting in my car and crying, asking myself what should I do about my trip? But then, something else hit me, “What does this mean for Chase and I?” And it was then that I realized.

Maybe we weren’t for each other.

 

Breaking up is hard to do

I ended up consulting my aunt (she will be nuanced often throughout my blog as she is an important figure in my life). She urged me to speak with him about premarital counseling: something I thought we should do since our engagement, because we would specifically talk about this exact issue in it.

 

I went home, asked Chase about going the next week, which he replied a firm, “I’m not going.”

I said, “Well, it’s a deal-breaker.”

He said, “You keep saying that- are you breaking up with me?”

I said, “Yeah, I guess I am.”

And that was it.

 

We sat on the bed for I don’t know how long in silence. He moved out the next day.

 

No hard feelings

Source: Break Through 1995 “Walls break hearts, hearts break walls” by Pierre Marcel

There’s some things I want to say about Chase. Some readers might know who I’m talking about, or maybe you’re just out there reading another breakup story. But Chase is one of the best people I’ll ever know, an amazing boyfriend, and will be an amazing husband.

 

We just weren’t right for each other.

 

It took me some time to realize that that’s okay. We didn’t want the same things in life. I have never, and would NEVER, speak a bad word about him. We had a wonderful friendship and later, relationship, and I’m happy to say we ended on good terms. He will make a girl very happy one day and I wish him all the best (seriously, not just saying this).

 

Where do we go from here?

After Chase moved out, I was left with the ambiguous question of “What do I do now?” You know, that wonderful question in life you sometimes come to. All I could think about was traveling. Eastern Europe. Greece. The sea. Beaches. Meeting amazing people and eating wonderful food.

 

How could I do this alone? COULD I do this alone?

 

So, I decided. I had no friends to go with me but I couldn’t let that hold me back. I freaking wanted this.

 

Two days later, in a moment of passion and maybe some slight uncertainty, I booked my one-way ticket into Dubrovnik, Croatia for September 12th.

 

I was going to travel the Balkan region

all

by

myself.

 

Some final things I want to say

I talk about Chase because our relationship and the end of it is what led to me to this Croatian life. And I’m not talking about the blog- I’m talking about the freedom and opportunity to come and live this life in Croatia. Our story matters because it led me here- imagine had we actually traveled together! I’m a big believer in fate- God, the Universe, divine appropriate timing; whatever you wanna call it- you and I wouldn’t be sitting here reading this blog because, well, it wouldn’t exist! Everything happens for a reason.

You just gotta go with it.

Wanna read what happens next? Click here.

 

What are some moments for you where everything just shifted, but ultimately landed you exactly where you’re meant to be? Comment below, I’d love to hear ‘em!

2 thoughts on “Before Croatia: Prologue

  1. Hey,

    Found about you on Youtube, just wanted to say that your blog is very interesting, keep it up please and upload more videos to youtube 🙂

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